Calling Cards & 'At Home' Days

A morning call was the basic unit of polite society. A lady — or her husband on her behalf — would leave an engraved card at a house to announce a visit, offer congratulations, or simply keep a friendship in good repair, and the cards were collected on a tray in the hall like votes being counted.

The etiquette was exacting. Cards were returned within days; a folded corner could signal congratulations, condolence, or farewell depending on which corner was turned; and many ladies named a single 'at home' day each week when callers would actually be received, the rest of the week being politely closed to them.

The whole ritual was a velvet barrier. Servants read the cards and decided who was 'at home' and who was not, so a family could keep its distance without ever being rude — the card did the snubbing, and gentility stayed spotless.